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Lately I’ve had this uncontrollable rage over the fact that I can’t, and will never again, be able to talk to my father.
I keep talking about how unfathomable is that he’s not here. That I still believe one day he’ll come back, that this emptiness and distance is not permanent. And then I dream. I dream that he is back, and I hug him so tight knowing never to let go. That for only a brief moment I can touch him, FEEL him, hear his voice. It seems so cruel these dreams. I wake up in a rage that I can’t. I can’t ever get another hug, or see his baby blues, hear him call me “bunny”, or argue with him about the state of tourism on our dismal island.
That I will never again tell him that I love him, that I will never hear that from him either.
It just seems IMPOSSIBLE that that’s true.
Will I ever believe it?
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Lesson was cancelled due to the rain.
*Sob*
Eventually I will have this.
One day.
Soon
(please?!)
(Source: micasaessucasa)
cat workout.
(Source: i-am-the-oracular-spectacular, via thegirl-withthefoolishgrin)
What I did this afternoon
Last time I burned sage my father’s estate was finally settled the next day thereby forever eliminating his c**t of a wife from my life, forever.
Let’s hope something just as amazing happens!
Sage is an herb that is known for its healing and medicinal properties. People have burned sage since ancient times to cleanse and purify objects and homes. Proponents of sage burning, also known as smudging, believe that the sage smoke is a way to bless your home and dispel it of negative energy and influences. You might wish to burn sage to purify and cleanse your current home or a new residence before moving in.
(Source: cineraria, via taliaxxlove)