Showing posts tagged breaking up

this is why I’m done with douchebags/dickheads/idiots

can you imagine receiving that as a girl?

dropped
him
like
a hot
potato

Awkward conversation for a girl for her girl - neither of which are "me"

  • Girl: Aren't you guys together??
  • Swag and me: No
  • Girl: No you're bf and gf
  • Swag and me: No, we're not
  • Girl: I can totally tell
  • Swag and me: No seriously, we're not
  • Girl: Oh come on! Someone told me you were
  • Swag and me: Look at each other awkwardly...I silently walk away

After an awkward night in the kitchen

  • Swag (text): Are we cool? Are you cool?
  • Me (text): Dude - you broke it off. You can't expect me to do cartwheels around you. It's gonna be awkward but lucky for us it's almost over.
  • Swag ( text): Sorry i didnt know you felt bad or awkward about all of it, ill let you be
  • Me - silently crushed that it still needs to be reiterated that he has dumped me and no, he has not realized his potentially fatal mistake.
  • Friend: But I'm confused - what do you expect from these relationships?
  • Me: I'm tired of just because I might be leaving or I'm from another country everything has to be labeled as either " must end" or can only be "casual". I really just want to meet someone and just see how things go. Why does everything have to be defined? Can't it just be "hey you're cool I like you let's see if we like each other?" and then just figure it out along the way? How is that so hard? From now I'm just gonna be upfront and say "Not interested in casual. Here is my life. Take it or leave it."
  • Friend: Well since you don't know where you'll be in 6 months that might work, or it might not.
  • Me: That's if I meet someone. Right now "this" (waves arms around body) is on lock down.
  • Friend: Fair enough!

Letting go

Things with the Frenchman were getting serious. We were dating for 4 months and things were moving towards boyfriend/girlfriend calling. So I did the sensible thing. I broke up with him.

And I did it the shittiest way possible.

I feel like the total asshole I am. I’m a huge coward. But.

It’s hard for me to try and tell him he’s better off. That I was leaving, soon. That being with me was a recipe for a disaster and heart break. So I cut it off now to spare both of us. And our hearts.

Still sucks though.

Love.

this is amazing

this is amazing

I am done with dating.

While I was in Florence my sister asked me again: “But why are you dating this guy? You see no future with him and I’m constantly seeing you dating for dating sake. Why don’t you just wait until you meet someone you actually want to be with and date them?”

Those words repeated over and over again on my last (and ultimate failure of a trip) with the Frenchman.

I knew he wasn’t the one but it was fun and exciting to date someone new, foreign, and who could speak another language.

But things got old right quick when the bigger picture came into play. He is a complete, and utter, chauvinist. The woman’s place is at home and he constantly tried to convince me that if a rich man came along, I would just want to take care of our babies, and lunch with my friends, and ya know, have no ambition of my own. (Which is, beyond, insulting.)

And the “play fights” over whether or not I would succumb to his desire to have me clean his…well…everything (shirts, pants, dishes, apartment…) got even older.

So after 2 very long days in the gorgeous city of Strasbourg, I knew it was time to let the Frenchman go and truly close up shop until I actually meet someone I like. Adore. Couldn’t see myself without.

It’s been a very long time since, but I have absolute faith. 

"Liking" Statuses Rant

There are a few recent men in my life that I have briefly dated who are annoying the “f” out of me (still)

We either broke up (or rather they broke up with me) or they quite literally disappeared….never to be heard from again….except through facebook.

All of these guys I was friends with, and therefore facebook friends with, before we started dating. Hence how they got access to my profile (I do not friend guys I just meet, nor do I friend guys I am just dating. It’s too soul baring)

Yet these dudes who have disappeared from my life (from their own choosing I might add) CONSISTENTLY like my facebook statuses.

What.the.hell.

I have hidden them from my timelines (as I feel like de-friending them would seem too “aggressive”) but them liking my statuses I feel is ridiculously passive aggressive.

One dude literally disappeared - have not heard from him in 2 months - and he disappeared right after I asked the question “so, um, are we dating? Cause I keep getting asked out on dates from other guys but I don’t know what’s going on between us.” I even went so far as to say “not that I’m looking for a commitment, but I’d just like to know.” And that was met with complete and utter silence. 

Except when he likes my facebook statuses!

What the hell is the etiquette when it comes to this? Someone needs to write a book.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

And another one bites the dust.

We sat going round and round when I just had to say it. 

"At the end of the day, there’s a girl, me, sitting across from a boy, you. Girl wants to be in a relationship with boy, boy doesn’t. We can sit here discussing why, or how, or when, or what killed this, but what’s the point?"

He said, “Well I wouldn’t put it…but yeah.”

I then gathered my rejected self and with as much dignity I could muster, excused myself from the situation - not before calling him an idiot of course.

As I sat on my bike, trying to turn the key, the tears started to stream. Shamelessly crying for the relationship that would never be.

With a swipe of the tears, and a few deep breaths, I set off and tried oh so hard not to look back.