Secrets shared today
- Him: I've been married. I'm divorced.
- Me: I haven't called anyone my boyfriend since 2009.
So I’ve had a sit down with some friends of mine because since the last heart break and close encounter I feel like I need some self reflection because I attract the wrong people.
So I was told:
1 - You drink too much. Quit with the drinking - you make stupid decisions on it. (Like making out with people!)
2 - Stop compromising. You say you want serious and then they say casual so then you’re like - ok casual! So stop compromising what you want for what they want.
3 - Be more honest with yourself. If he presents himself as an asshole and only wants casual in the beginning he does not deserve a second chance. Move on and be honest that he isn’t going to change or give you what you want.
4 - No sex before monogomany.
5 - Be coy. Be yourself. You’re awesome.
So ladies - take what you want from that. I know I am!
Frenchman and I met on June 21st to be exact. Fete de le musique. A friend of a good one. I knew he was solid.
We went out on our first date 5 days later. Him having the balls to get my number from our mutual and text me the first night we met. “It was lovely to meet you. I hope we see each other soon.” And then he asked to see me, soon.
After the first date I traveled for 2 weeks. Him constantly texting and checking in. I was flattered and started fantasizing what type of man he would be. Attentive was known.
And so in July, after my last trip, we started seeing each other, regularly. The respect was mutual and we enjoyed each other.
But. His past was complicated, just as much as my future.
And as we spent time together I knew it had to end. In fact I tried to end it before it did, twice. You can totally tell when someone is falling in love. Too bad it wasn’t me.
He started school. A transfer of such, same level, same passion. I would never have thought of him except after the first time we hung out together (in a group) I couldn’t stop admiring his swag. God damn he has swag.
And so while I dated Frenchman Swag was cooking in my class kitchen. We would all get together in a group and we managed to always find each other. At a bar, waiting for class, walking down the street, we orbited each other over and over.
But yet I still saw Frenchman.
I couldn’t give up something for the idea of another…so I waited.
I waited until one night, planned by me, “we all went out”., and still we found each other. Then our hands intwined. And then we kissed. We had begun and another ended.
So I had to end it with Frenchman. After 4 months and a defining weekend it was over. I was such a coward. Such a coward. /p>
I chose him.
And I don’t regret it.
Sometimes life pulls people towards you. Suddenly you are hovering in their orbit. Gravity pulls and spins you both together. The thin invisible elastic band snaps you back whenever you’re too far apart. You sit next to each other, fall in step when you beat the pavement and then they’re apart of your world. So easily they slip into your routine.
Life is a very strange journey.