Aye Spy

Apr 29

Unpacking after a vacation.

Mar 09

Mom: So what did you have for dinner?
Me: A carrot and lentil salad
Mom: Good girl
(What I "forgot to add"): ...with a side of salt'n'vinegar chips and m&m's...oh and wine!

Feb 23

Tonight

Cute Italian Waiter: So what are you doing after your meal?
Me: I'm going to check out the Carnival.
Cute Italian Waiter: Oh - would you like to have a drink with me tonight?
Me: Maybe. What time do you get off?
Cute Italian Waiter (who is now named Pascal): 11-11:30pm.
Me: Ok. Maybe I'll stop by after.
What I really meant to say was: Not in your sweet dreams possible human trafficker.
THANKS MOM.

Jul 18

Has anyone read that he felt powerful and famous as president?

He’s a DOUCHE

(Source: depressionbeard)

(Reblogged from ijustdontcareokayman)

I totally think my dog has elbows.

Jun 25

Huh.

I read an article that was about “You’ve been single too long when…”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when I read that one of their reasons was you have something planned every night of the week.

Here’s what my typical after work week looks like:

Monday: Horseback riding, Tuesday: Gym, Wednesday: Sailing, Thursday: Gym, Friday: Drinking Activity (This week it’s wine tasting!), Saturday: Errands/Event (last week was a gala dinner, this week moving and beach party!), Sunday: Veg.

So what does that say about me?!

I like to think it says I’ve got my shit together.