Secrets shared today
- Him: I've been married. I'm divorced.
- Me: I haven't called anyone my boyfriend since 2009.
Had lunch with an old flame yesterday. Fuck - all we do is laugh.
Over the last 13yrs we’ve gone out and broken up about 4 times.
The last time I told him I was ready. He wasn’t.
Yesterday reminded me that timing’s a bitch.
So I’ve had a sit down with some friends of mine because since the last heart break and close encounter I feel like I need some self reflection because I attract the wrong people.
So I was told:
1 - You drink too much. Quit with the drinking - you make stupid decisions on it. (Like making out with people!)
2 - Stop compromising. You say you want serious and then they say casual so then you’re like - ok casual! So stop compromising what you want for what they want.
3 - Be more honest with yourself. If he presents himself as an asshole and only wants casual in the beginning he does not deserve a second chance. Move on and be honest that he isn’t going to change or give you what you want.
4 - No sex before monogomany.
5 - Be coy. Be yourself. You’re awesome.
So ladies - take what you want from that. I know I am!
When is enough enough? When we’re enjoying a good meal, we know we’ve had enough when we start to feel full. When we’ve had enough water we stop because our thirst is quenched. But with emotional stuff, it’s not so easy to tell. Someone has been dishing out some rather unfair treatment lately, Sagittarius. This person may not respect you as you deserve to be respected. But you have been very tolerant and even loving in return. So when do you draw the line and walk away? If things don’t change soon, and you initiate a conversation that brings no improvement, it may be time to move on.
But this is what my horoscope said
I kept saying to my sister’s fiancé “But that’s how he is - he’s a prankster”
and he said “He’s a punk - he’s not worthy”
So I guess I should totally reevaluate my standards
because apparently they are pretty damn low
(but he really is a prankster)
It was September 2011 when my heart truly broke. He sat across from me and told me he couldn’t do it, wasn’t ready, and said goodbye. We hadn’t been dating long but it really only took the first date for me to realize that I had found someone very special. He was intelligent, an artist, a sailor, knew my home, and was the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on. And then it ended.
I was crushed. I cried, cried people. I never cry about relationships or break ups. I tough up, complain A LOT, whine and whinge, but never ever cry. But the sobs came heavy and fast, and they didn’t stop for a long time.
And he left. Left the state. And I decided to leave NYC. I was suddenly done with the town. The job. The ghosts of relationships past. I packed up, moved home, and found life.
Over a year since our last chat we’ve since reconnected. Not in a romantic way, but just talking, flirting.
But as I talk to him, I’m not bitter or angry. We’ve both done amazing things since we left each other and our city. We’ve plotted our life courses and have chosen to be happier with ourselves. We aren’t bogged down by each other, or our relationship, to truly find what makes us individually happy. For him that’s oyster farming. For me, that was culinary school.
The greatest heart break has taught me that not only does life move on, but it can do so in an amazing way. So even though it hurts right now, there are amazing things in your future. And I will tell you, I am infinitely happier now, than I have ever been. Without him.
And yes, there’s a small part that still believes he’s the sexiest man on earth. Who know’s what can happen.
I feel her simmering. Just below the service. Drink after drink she rises. Slight after slight she begs to come play.
I’ve spent the better part of a year controlling her. Pushing her down. Using my words. And yet she still begs to break free.
Someday she will unleash and it will be madness. The belligerent me will come to play but right now…I am in control.
At least for now. One more slight, one more disregard, I promise shit.