Showing posts tagged love
Long Distance rocks
said no one. ever.
  • Me: The timing just really sucked when we first met
  • Photographer: But maybe it was perfect.

Secrets shared today

  • Him: I've been married. I'm divorced.
  • Me: I haven't called anyone my boyfriend since 2009.

Had lunch with an old flame yesterday. Fuck - all we do is laugh.

Over the last 13yrs we’ve gone out and broken up about 4 times.

The last time I told him I was ready. He wasn’t.

Yesterday reminded me that timing’s a bitch.

My self induced intervention

So I’ve had a sit down with some friends of mine because since the last heart break and close encounter I feel like I need some self reflection because I attract the wrong people.

So I was told:

1 - You drink too much. Quit with the drinking - you make stupid decisions on it. (Like making out with people!)
2 - Stop compromising. You say you want serious and then they say casual so then you’re like - ok casual! So stop compromising what you want for what they want.
3 - Be more honest with yourself. If he presents himself as an asshole and only wants casual in the beginning he does not deserve a second chance. Move on and be honest that he isn’t going to change or give you what you want.
4 - No sex before monogomany.
5 - Be coy. Be yourself. You’re awesome.

So ladies - take what you want from that. I know I am!

and then he said

When is enough enough? When we’re enjoying a good meal, we know we’ve had enough when we start to feel full. When we’ve had enough water we stop because our thirst is quenched. But with emotional stuff, it’s not so easy to tell. Someone has been dishing out some rather unfair treatment lately, Sagittarius. This person may not respect you as you deserve to be respected. But you have been very tolerant and even loving in return. So when do you draw the line and walk away? If things don’t change soon, and you initiate a conversation that brings no improvement, it may be time to move on.

But this is what my horoscope said

I kept saying to my sister’s fiancé “But that’s how he is - he’s a prankster”

and he said “He’s a punk - he’s not worthy”

So I guess I should totally reevaluate my standards

because apparently they are pretty damn low

(but he really is a prankster)

Told ya

  • Me: Did I tell you about the photographer who broke my heart in NYC?
  • Friend: Yeah...
  • Me: We're seeing each other when I'm in NYC
  • Friend: Why?!??
  • Me: I can handle it
  • Friend: I would be nice but I'm gonna be honest. You absolutely can not handle that.

Greatest lesson my Ultimate Heartbreak taught me

It was September 2011 when my heart truly broke. He sat across from me and told me he couldn’t do it, wasn’t ready, and said goodbye. We hadn’t been dating long but it really only took the first date for me to realize that I had found someone very special. He was intelligent, an artist, a sailor, knew my home, and was the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on. And then it ended.

I was crushed. I cried, cried people. I never cry about relationships or break ups. I tough up, complain A LOT, whine and whinge, but never ever cry. But the sobs came heavy and fast, and they didn’t stop for a long time.

And he left. Left the state. And I decided to leave NYC. I was suddenly done with the town. The job. The ghosts of relationships past. I packed up, moved home, and found life. 

Over a year since our last chat we’ve since reconnected. Not in a romantic way, but just talking, flirting. 

But as I talk to him, I’m not bitter or angry. We’ve both done amazing things since we left each other and our city. We’ve plotted our life courses and have chosen to be happier with ourselves. We aren’t bogged down by each other, or our relationship, to truly find what makes us individually happy. For him that’s oyster farming. For me, that was culinary school.

The greatest heart break has taught me that not only does life move on, but it can do so in an amazing way. So even though it hurts right now, there are amazing things in your future.  And I will tell you,  I am infinitely happier now, than I have ever been. Without him.

And yes, there’s a small part that still believes he’s the sexiest man on earth. Who know’s what can happen.

I do it to myself

  • Me: I'm heading home for almost 2 months.
  • Ultimate Heartbreaker: Come see me.
  • Me: I'll be in NYC before - come see me.
  • Ultimate Heartbreaker: It's on the calendar.

After an awkward night in the kitchen

  • Swag (text): Are we cool? Are you cool?
  • Me (text): Dude - you broke it off. You can't expect me to do cartwheels around you. It's gonna be awkward but lucky for us it's almost over.
  • Swag ( text): Sorry i didnt know you felt bad or awkward about all of it, ill let you be
  • Me - silently crushed that it still needs to be reiterated that he has dumped me and no, he has not realized his potentially fatal mistake.